all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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