so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
