it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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