Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize