THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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