I want to stick my p in your. b.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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