Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize