Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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