I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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