you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
