how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
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