worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up