Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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