What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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