oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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