If that was your dad, he is hot
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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