Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize