We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
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It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
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I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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