i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
