the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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