and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
