Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
