that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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