I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
