i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
