I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
