i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize