I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
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There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
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I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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