Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
