She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
then he tried to convert me to islam
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
