i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
