I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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