I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize