the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
