we have pet lesbian snakes
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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