you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
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i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's official drugs can't kill me
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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