brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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