Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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