I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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