I wanna passion pit in your ass
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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