What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
