help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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