Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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