You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
