he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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