But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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