There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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