Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize