so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
