Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
