out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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