I wanna bring you to show and tell
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
