That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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