he wants to bone in the snuggie
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
