I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
