how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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