i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
