The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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