Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
