apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
