Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Randomize
