I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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