They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
