you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
