Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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