I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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