they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I wish there were birth control emojis
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize