I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
