she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
