Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
