my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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