Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize