we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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